Deciding to use modern technology to provide on line post adoption support to the adoption community means that NEPAS has to identify a clear value base (see pdf file Values in Documents Section), and explain to the community how we can implement these values into modern systems of indirect work. In line with this statement and using a modern approach to our work, we felt NEPAS now have to re-contextualize these values within these new services, where direct contact with beneficiaries may never occur. We have to explain to our membership how these values can be interpreted within the complex and sensitive on line services found within the member's section.

We therefore ask all members who join, and use our on line interactive services, to conduct their search using the following etiquette in conjunction with the message board rules. This has in the past, supported our value base, given in the document section.

It is hoped that members who use our on line services to conduct searches, traces and reunions, accept these notions to support our values.

Firstly, there is consideration of the needs and feelings of other people. Why some people may feel the time is not right to discuss the past, or move on beyond a certain point. We believe this type of consideration and understanding will be an asset to all members who wish to work within the adoption triangle positively. Through our work we have noticed that at times, some parties to adoption feel themselves to be victims to some extent. In some cases they are justified in feeling this way. Good understanding, based upon the ability to consider others, even strangers, should enable all our members to reach satisfactory conclusions; not only for themselves but others related to their personal journey through adoption.

Secondly, respect. Through respect one displays a greater understanding. Members should respect others opinions, even though they might not agree or fully understand the reasons and motivations, at a given time in the story building. This can only happen if members have respect for themselves and each other. Respecting others views, opinions, perspectives and motivations at a given time around a complex and unique multi faceted family situation; often where models of understanding the family construct are not evident in the kinship story is not easy, we admit this. As peoples stories grow, then hopefully this can promote a greater understanding about another person's grief, anger, shame, hatred and the many other contradictions of family life, which are often hidden within the adoption community. Individual respect may be needed if an unexpected situation arises at a given point in the story. This will be important in helping mend people's thoughts about one another.

Thirdly, we ask our members to be truthful. Many embryonic adoption stories and reunions come sadly from a background of fabrication. There are many reasons for this, some acceptable, some not. Remember throughout, we ask members, to combine their search of the truth with both consideration and respect. Truth will help, but to reach a certain point in one's retrospective life story may take time. Time that sometimes belongs to another person. In some cases the time may never be right and we ask our members to respect this truthfulness.

These message board rules, supported by these notions and the meanings behind them are central to these on line services being successful and formulate a clear etiquette. If the etiquette is followed by members then this should prevent people losing their rights as individuals, an over riding concept for quality on line post adoption services as provided by NEPAS. As already stated if any member abuses the rights of others their membership may be withdrawn or terminated. An explanation will be offered to the member and hopefully a resolution found. Three moderators have been assigned to ensure that this etiquette is used to uphold the rights of the adoption community, where possible. We believe given all the people we have worked with in the past that moderator intervention will be minimal, and hopefully sanctions rarely used.